This blog is about a
recent interview Angelina Jolie did in Marie Claire.
You can find the article
I’m about to discuss here:
http://www.marieclaire.com/celebrity-lifestyle/celebrities/angelina-jolie-interview
Asked about her lack of
female confidantes, Angelina says;
‘I don’t really have any
girlfriends. I don’t like other girls and I don’t have time for them’
Cue my blood boiling and the following rant I am compelled to blog about…..
We have ALL at one time or
another met a girl like this.
Everybody knows an
Angelina Jolie.
A few months ago some of
my friend’s boyfriends went to watch a gig. We were invited but instead opted
to go on a girl’s night out.
The next day a girl we
know that had gone with them left this facebook status:
Nicola wants to apologise
to all the girls for keeping their men out late lastnight, naughty me ;-)
Within minutes my Facebook
chat lit up like Blackpool.
My girlfriends were lining
up to vent, gnash and snarl over Nicola – and not for the first time.
The month before we had
all been sitting in a beer garden and she’d started a game ‘I have never’
purely so she could reveal – again - that she’d once had a threesome on
holiday, masturbated this morning, and finds stocking and suspenders soooooo
comfortable.
Nicola is a classic
example of an Angelina Jolie.
Before I go on, let me
make things clear, I’m not talking about jealously or looks, and it’s certainly
not about whether I think boyfriends will stray – You shouldn’t be with a guy
if you don’t trust him.
This blog is about sister
solidarity, or in Angelina’s case, her lack of it.
The Angelina’s of this
world are a particular type of intoxicating woman that forces other girls to
get their claws out, and yet all the men seem to find her adorable.
She’s the type of girl
that says things like ‘I forgot to put any underwear on today’, ‘Girls don’t
seem to like me’, ‘You’re married? Why are all the good ones taken’ and ‘I
always sleep naked’.
Angelina is the type of
girl that hangs out in mixed groups and describes herself as ‘a bit of a
tomboy’, despite spending four hours in front of a mirror before watching the
rugby with the lads in the pub.
Whilst your friends will
suggest to go dancing for the night, the Angelina’s of this world will suggest
going to a strip club – not because Dita Von Tease is her style icon, but
because she constantly feels the need to show boys how sexually liberated she
is.
Whilst in the workplace,
Angelina is the first person to adopt a baby voice and ask “How do I send an
email on this computer?” then sit back whilst the boys swoop in to help.
The absolute giveaway that
you are dealing with an Angelina is when she says ‘Women don’t like me. I don’t
know why.’
What she really means is
‘I don’t like women and I want you to think they’re jealous of me’.
Unfortunately, only women
can see the Angelina for what she really is.
Men think she’s sweet,
misunderstood, picked on.
Women know she’s a
manipulative, girl hating nightmare, who’d sleep with another girl’s boyfriend
in a nano-second.
Guy’s will never get it.
I’ve tried explaining an Angelina Jolie to a guy recently and his response was
simply ‘why are girls so bitchy?’
Neither he or any other
man will ever understand why 99% of women hate Angelina Jolie.
Highlighting her
shortcomings to men only plays into her hands.
They’ll only feel sorry
for her, and think less of you.
So, how do we best deal with
the Angelina Jolie’s of this world?
The best policy is to
smile, kindest always kills.
Know that she has the self
esteem of a shrivelled prune that longs to be a grape and refuse to play her
game (this will confuse the hell out of her!)
If all else fails, set her
against another Angelina Jolie.
Watching two Angelina’s competing
for the same attention is great car crash TV.
So sit back, watch the drama
unfold with your friends and be glad you have each other…..
Because whilst the
Angelina’s of this world may sometimes end up with Brad, the Jen’s of this
world will always have friends!
So true :)
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