Sunday, 12 February 2012

Blog 7: A Single Girl's Guide to Valentine's Day

In case you’ve missed those garish red signs in your local supermarket – Valentine’s Day is just around the corner.
I know, you’re probably thinking it’s a silly, commercialised, money-making celebration. And, to some extent, I agree.
For those of you who have a date already. Congratu-flippin’-lations. I applaud you.
But for those of you who haven’t (myself included), although it probably doesn’t feel like it, there are thousands of singletons out there in exactly the same boat.
Valentine’s day and single.
Nothing but you and that ticking clock on the kitchen wall.
No breakfast in bed. No flowers on your desk. No lovey-dovey card bought in a last minute panic.
Your mum just called to say ‘I love you, and have you had any luck finding Mr Right yet?’
You could tell her the truth? That you’re dateless and desperate. Still single and searching. Helpless and hopeless. But you don’t want to depress her… or yourself.
Well my fellow singleton, what you need is not a date, but some good advice.
So here it is my Single Girl’s guide to Valentine’s Day.  A do’s and don’ts list that will help you survive what is the most patronising of all holidays.
A Single Girl’s guide to Valentine’s Day
Do – go to the gym. If there’s one place to meet single men on Valentine’s Day it’s at the gym. I can pretty much guarantee that if they spend the 14th Feb working out, they are unspoken for. And it’s the perfect excuse to casually check out some weight lifting.
Don’t – watch Bridget Jones 1 and 2, whilst taking note of how much you worryingly have in common.  
Do – lie and say you’re dating someone fun. No one will know the difference, and it’s the perfect way to avoid the creepy office postman and his annual jokes about your lack of cards.
Don’t - lie and say you’re training for the 2012 London Marathon and your coach has told you to stay away from relationships until afterwards. Who are you kidding? Especially with a run like Phoebe in Friends!
Do – send a nice Valentine’s Day card to that special grandparent, aunt, uncle or best friend you’ve been neglecting. A surprise card out of the blue will make them feel special.
Don’t - write a letter of complaint to Asda, questioning why they decided to discontinue your favourite microwavable meal, and yet they think it’s quite reasonable to dedicate A WHOLE AISLE to the 14th Feb. Yes, supermarkets capitalise on the true meaning of love. Yes, Valentine’s Day was created to shift post-Christmas stock at a high margin such as chocolates and oversized teddy bears. Yes, supermarkets go overboard every year, appealing to couples ‘in love’. But, they also provide work to thousands of people! Just let your issues go!

Do – listen to ACDC and sing unashamedly into your hairbrush. You rock, so get that air guitar out!
Don’t – listen to ‘All by myself’. Enough said.
Do – treat yourself to a BIG bar of chocolate, until you’re knee deep in weight watchers and Clearasil….. Nothing makes me feel warmer inside then a big bar of Galaxy Caramel. Mmm mmmmmm.
Don’t – spend Valentine’s day on your ex boyfriends Facebook page wondering whether to send him a message or not. An ex is an ex for a reason.
Finally, and most importantly, do remember the true meaning of Valentine’s day. The 14th Feb is a celebration of love.
That doesn’t just mean a ‘boyfriend’ or date.  It’s all the other people in your life that really count.
The people who really love you, unconditionally.
Your amazing family and your best friends.
Let Tuesday be a day of loveliness.
Buy big issue from the man you always shun. Get the coffee’s in for your team at work. Send a heartfelt text to your nearest and dearest, telling them how amazing you think they are.
Because let’s face it. Boyfriend’s will come and go, but best friends and family will always be there. 
x



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