Sunday, 18 March 2012

Blog 12: Beware of the Angelina Jolie’s of this world….

This blog has nothing to do with the fact that Angelina stole Brad from Jen.  I am not one to judge that situation. Things happen, people change, and whilst I don’t condone it, I won’t jump to any conclusion without knowing all the facts.  (Although, naturally I’m a bigger fan of Jen!)

This blog is about a recent interview Angelina Jolie did in Marie Claire.

You can find the article I’m about to discuss here:

http://www.marieclaire.com/celebrity-lifestyle/celebrities/angelina-jolie-interview

Asked about her lack of female confidantes, Angelina says;

‘I don’t really have any girlfriends. I don’t like other girls and I don’t have time for them’


Cue my blood boiling and the following rant I am compelled to blog about….. 

We have ALL at one time or another met a girl like this.

Everybody knows an Angelina Jolie.

A few months ago some of my friend’s boyfriends went to watch a gig. We were invited but instead opted to go on a girl’s night out.

The next day a girl we know that had gone with them left this facebook status:

Nicola wants to apologise to all the girls for keeping their men out late lastnight, naughty me ;-)

Within minutes my Facebook chat lit up like Blackpool.

My girlfriends were lining up to vent, gnash and snarl over Nicola – and not for the first time.

The month before we had all been sitting in a beer garden and she’d started a game ‘I have never’ purely so she could reveal – again -  that she’d once had a threesome on holiday, masturbated this morning, and finds stocking and suspenders soooooo comfortable.

Nicola is a classic example of an Angelina Jolie.

Before I go on, let me make things clear, I’m not talking about jealously or looks, and it’s certainly not about whether I think boyfriends will stray – You shouldn’t be with a guy if you don’t trust him.

This blog is about sister solidarity, or in Angelina’s case, her lack of it.

The Angelina’s of this world are a particular type of intoxicating woman that forces other girls to get their claws out, and yet all the men seem to find her adorable.

She’s the type of girl that says things like ‘I forgot to put any underwear on today’, ‘Girls don’t seem to like me’, ‘You’re married? Why are all the good ones taken’ and ‘I always sleep naked’.

Angelina is the type of girl that hangs out in mixed groups and describes herself as ‘a bit of a tomboy’, despite spending four hours in front of a mirror before watching the rugby with the lads in the pub.

Whilst your friends will suggest to go dancing for the night, the Angelina’s of this world will suggest going to a strip club – not because Dita Von Tease is her style icon, but because she constantly feels the need to show boys how sexually liberated she is.

Whilst in the workplace, Angelina is the first person to adopt a baby voice and ask “How do I send an email on this computer?” then sit back whilst the boys swoop in to help.

The absolute giveaway that you are dealing with an Angelina is when she says ‘Women don’t like me. I don’t know why.’

What she really means is ‘I don’t like women and I want you to think they’re jealous of me’.

Unfortunately, only women can see the Angelina for what she really is.

Men think she’s sweet, misunderstood, picked on.

Women know she’s a manipulative, girl hating nightmare, who’d sleep with another girl’s boyfriend in a nano-second.

Guy’s will never get it. I’ve tried explaining an Angelina Jolie to a guy recently and his response was simply ‘why are girls so bitchy?’

Neither he or any other man will ever understand why 99% of women hate Angelina Jolie.

Highlighting her shortcomings to men only plays into her hands.

They’ll only feel sorry for her, and think less of you.

So, how do we best deal with the Angelina Jolie’s of this world?

The best policy is to smile, kindest always kills.

Know that she has the self esteem of a shrivelled prune that longs to be a grape and refuse to play her game (this will confuse the hell out of her!)

If all else fails, set her against another Angelina Jolie.

Watching two Angelina’s competing for the same attention is great car crash TV.

So sit back, watch the drama unfold with your friends and be glad you have each other…..

Because whilst the Angelina’s of this world may sometimes end up with Brad, the Jen’s of this world will always have friends!

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