You’ve probably heard about it by now: Samantha Brick’s rather deluded article entitled ‘Why women hate me for being beautiful’.
If you haven’t seen it yet, you can read about it here:
Whilst I completely disagree with Samantha’s self-obsessed attitude to her physique, it has reluctantly made me think about my own attitudes to beauty and looks.
Since the story broke, I’ve begun to question how obsessed we can be when it comes to our appearance; I say ‘we’ hoping that this is something all women do.
I can’t count the amount of times I’ve thought ‘If I looked like Jennifer Lopez I wouldn’t be single’, ‘If I lost a few pounds I’d be more successful’, ‘If I got £500 hair extensions I’d look more like Taylor Swift’, ‘If I buy this coat/top/dress/shoes he’ll find me irresistible’, ‘He didn’t like me because I hadn’t waxed my eyebrows / slapped on makeup / wore a really really short skirt’, ‘If I made more of an effort with my appearance I’d probably have more luck’.
In general, we pour a lot of money, time, and energy into our appearance hoping it will make us more attractive.
In general the female population is ridiculously focused on looking good.
Just a few weeks ago I spent less than 3-4 hours and £100 getting highlights. I have to go every six to eight weeks otherwise people might realise that I’m not a natural blonde. But that’s just the standard (Right?).
I’m not judging or saying it’s a bad thing,
I am a firm believer in the saying ‘look good, feel better’
I’ll admit I feel massively insecure if I have a bad hair day, and as a minimum, I won’t leave the house without Mascara on.
So, as much as I hate to admit it, I suppose Samantha Brick is to right about women’s attitudes to appearance.
Looks really do matter, to most (if not all) women.
But there is one thing Samantha has got very wrong (self-infatuation aside): while she, and many other women are spending so much time and energy on the outside appearance, what is happening to the inside?
When do we put time and money into making the inside of us as beautiful and interesting too?
You’ve probably heard it a million times before, but true beauty lies within.
In the long run, your personality, sense of humour and intelligence is what makes or breaks you as a person.
It is what will stay with you throughout the years.
Whilst your skin will sag, hair will thin, and metabolism will slow, the inside of you can be as attractive at 80 as it was at 25… .
Put Samantha Brick into your local nightclub on a Friday night, and pretty girls are there by the dozen. She simply blends into the crowd, like a Barbie doll on a log fire.
But what is rare, what makes a woman truly unique and beautiful, is someone that is full of personality. A woman with a wicked sense of humour. A lady that is as smart as she is sexy. A girl who is as kind as she is cute.
And so, Samantha Brick, when it comes to appearance, the best piece of advice I can give you is to spend less time trying to compete physically with all the other women in the world, and focus on what makes you different on the inside.
Any man that judges you based on your looks will only trade you for someone hotter down the road.
What keeps a relationship strong and solid is mutual respect. And although most guys can appreciate a nice rack, it’s not enough to sustain the long haul.
What sets you apart and makes you different is what makes you the most attractive.
So in between a wax and a tan, make sure you log some time into making yourself better on the inside.
I guarantee it will pay off a lot more in the long run and you’ll feel better for it.